Space exploration has long been hampered by the risk to astronauts’ lives. NASA will remedy this by offering missions, where the chance of survival is highly unlikely, to prisoners scheduled for execution.
This initiative will bring forward the quest to put a man on Mars by a good 20 years. Kenneth Trey Hafronin, an incurable psychopath, [...]
Archive for the ‘Science’ Category
Prisoners in Space
Posted in Science, Space, Technology, Yet To Happen, tagged Attack, Earth, Mars, NASA, Planet, Prisoner, Psychopath, Space on November 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Lance Armstrong versus the Large Hadron Collider
Posted in Science, Sport, Yet To Happen, tagged Lance Armstrong, Large Hadron Collider, Particle Accelerator, Proton, Race, Speed of Light on October 19, 2008 | 2 Comments »
In order to generate publicity for his return to competitive cycling, Lance Armstrong will challenge the Large Hadron Collider to a race around the 17 mile circuit.
When asked how he intends to beat a proton traveling at 99.9999991% of the speed of light, Armstrong will reply, “In cycling, giving only 99.9999991% is the difference between [...]
Toilets No Longer Required
Posted in Health, Science, Uncategorized, tagged Bowel, Elimination, Evacutation, Toilet on October 4, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Humanity will finally tire of the need to evacuate their bowels, deeming it “gross” and “completely unsexy.”
Scientists will be commissioned to create foods where every part of the food is used by the body when ingested, thus eliminating the need to eliminate. Drinks of the same criteria will be created shortly after.
Without the need for [...]
Juicing Humans
Posted in Health, Science, Yet To Happen, tagged Crisis, Humans, Juice, Juicing, Shortage, Water on October 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
The world is running out of water. Over half of the human body is made of water.
Scientists will eventually put two and two together, and will devise a way to “juice” humans of their water.
Graveyards and crematoriums will be a thing of the past, as people will opt to juice their deceased loved ones to [...]
Abraham Lincoln and John Wilkes Booth to be Cloned
Posted in Science, Yet To Happen, tagged Abraham Lincoln, Clone, Curiosity, DNA, Human Clone, John Wilkes Booth on September 19, 2008 | 1 Comment »
The first human clone created from DNA will be that of Abraham Lincoln, brought “back to life” to serve the remaining 3 years, 10 months and 17 days of his presidency.
Upon hearing this news a rogue scientist will create a clone of John Wilkes Booth, in an attempt to prove that [...]
