In order to generate publicity for his return to competitive cycling, Lance Armstrong will challenge the Large Hadron Collider to a race around the 17 mile circuit.
When asked how he intends to beat a proton traveling at 99.9999991% of the speed of light, Armstrong will reply, “In cycling, giving only 99.9999991% is the difference between [...]
Archive for October, 2008
Lance Armstrong versus the Large Hadron Collider
Posted in Science, Sport, Yet To Happen, tagged Lance Armstrong, Large Hadron Collider, Particle Accelerator, Proton, Race, Speed of Light on October 19, 2008 | 2 Comments »
National Draft for Crime Dramas
Posted in Television, Yet To Happen, tagged Crime Drama, Crime Dramas, CSI, Draft, Emmy, Law & Order on October 12, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
There will soon be so many crime dramas on television that a shortage will occur of unknown actors to play the many bit parts required for each episode.
The suspension of disbelief required to watch these dramas will be the casualty; viewers will be asked to swallow that an actor who was shot and killed on [...]
Your Very Own Prisoner
Posted in Government, Society, Yet To Happen, tagged Home, Incarenceration, Inmate, Jail, Manson, OJ Simpson, Prison, Prisoner on October 12, 2008 | 1 Comment »
In the future you could have high profile prisoners such as Charles Manson or OJ Simpson living in your home.
For a start up fee of $100,000 your spare room will be converted into a maximum security jail cell. Then, through an online auction, you will bid on which prisoner you would like to live in [...]
Toilets No Longer Required
Posted in Health, Science, Uncategorized, tagged Bowel, Elimination, Evacutation, Toilet on October 4, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Humanity will finally tire of the need to evacuate their bowels, deeming it “gross” and “completely unsexy.”
Scientists will be commissioned to create foods where every part of the food is used by the body when ingested, thus eliminating the need to eliminate. Drinks of the same criteria will be created shortly after.
Without the need for [...]
Juicing Humans
Posted in Health, Science, Yet To Happen, tagged Crisis, Humans, Juice, Juicing, Shortage, Water on October 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
The world is running out of water. Over half of the human body is made of water.
Scientists will eventually put two and two together, and will devise a way to “juice” humans of their water.
Graveyards and crematoriums will be a thing of the past, as people will opt to juice their deceased loved ones to [...]
